Turns My Switch ON vs Off (part 2)

3. TORSO
It's the other name for upper body part (umm...rite???). Mau sebagus apa baju... mo bikinan desainer siapa juga... saya pikir, yang penting bagian dalemnya...
Emang sih, ada trik2 untuk "menutupi kekurangan"... but somehow, that's what losers do!!! (no offense!)

Turns Me ON

Well-Sculptured-torso with V-shape obviously everyone's dream...with some sweat...ugh, you got me!!! (sambil membayangkan si "abang-itu" pulling his body up....Men!!!...that's exactly made me wanna scream, agh...agh...agh!!! )
Flat abs... or even six-packs... yeah, baby...c'mon!
One more thing! Armpit with some smooth hair (no bush!!!) is definitely one of my most favorite body part (in some "excercise"... You know lah!)...weirdo???hmmm...I guarantee...once you know how do I make it felt like... you'd be addicted!

Turns Me OFF

Ummm... how do I say this, without offense anyone...
"I'm not a chubby chasser!!!"
C'mon, dude! Just becoz your parents feed you sufficiently, it doesn't mean... extra fat under your skin make you gorgeous! (I know this is kinda harsh to say!)
But, chubby is not, and will never be considered as latest trend in fashion!
Specially in "cong" world!

As Jack McFarland said, "Gym is Gay's Church!!!" Go there!!!
Saya mah ga mudheng, jaman sekarang, masih ada aja orang tua yang 'nganggep "Bigger is Better"
What???
Where and when are we living in?

Sering saya lihat di Mall (sambil jalan sendiri...ummm... I definitely seemed like enjoy my loneliness too much!!!) anak anak di depan gerai fast food... dengan ukuran yang hampir segede anak kudanil...dan ada yang bilang...."Ihhh...lutuna!!! (sambil menjawil pipi yang demplon itu!)... dan ortu tu anak, tersenyum BANGGA!!!!

I'd look at them with my pity eyes!!!

Emang ga nyadar yah??? Fat might kill them, soon or later!

Saya ga heran, sekarang banyak anak di umur-umur produktif udah mulai ketergantungan ama obat anti hipertensi... Diabetes...hmmm....
Obesity, one of human's most dangerous silent enemy!!!
Rite now... Work your body out!!! And be sexy!!! (Dont think too much, just do it...NOW!!!!) Like me...(*narsistic mode on*)

4. BELOW WAIST
Bukan "itu" tau!!!!! (sambil menatap kalian yang berpikiran seperti saya setiap kali mendengar kata bawah pinggang...*eyes of shame!*)
Kalo "itu" mah... yang penting fungsional lah.... heheh...

Turns Me ON

Susah bener cari gambar seperti yang saya pengin... tapi, short pants with nice leg...with toned calves... hmmm... damn!!!! HOT!

Turns Me OFF

Ga ngerti yah, emang saya yang aneh... tapi, somehow, kok saya kurang suka yah...liat laki pake celana super mereketetet...(yang sekarang ampir tiap anggota band pake!)... dengan celana super-ketat itu... kok malah membuat kebanyakan dari mereka malah tambah bogel, plus... kaos ketat dengan perut menyembul di balik kaos...

(I know U're rich... but,should U eat ur money bags too???)

Turns Me ON

Brief Boxer... comfort and sexy in the same package!!! Not showing most of ur assets, but bitchy enuff to turn my switch ON!!!

Turns Me OFF

Whatt???

G strings... Hmmm, u're over-proud...but also...over expose ur stuff, men!
Bukan tambah sexy... (kecuali bodi kamu sama kaya di pic atas), G string... kok malah jadi mirip kamu minjem kancut emak lu!!! heheh...
Unlesss you're going to be a male stripper... mending pake yang lebih manly yagh!!!

to be continued...

Monyetttttt!!!! I'm JEALOUS!!!

Minggu2...bangun siang... secara malem minggu ampoir semaleman ngajedog multiply-an (salam deh buat upload yang lelet itu!!!!).
Lagi error..."my private stuff" wants some experience!!! (you know what I mean!!!)

Langsung mandi...
Cabut ke warnet...

HUNTING!!!!

Suddenly, he's online... demenan saya,...
Ngobrol2 dikit... flirting2 dikit....

Singkat cerita....dia cerita, di kantornya...banyak "mangsa" with high quality!!!!

What???WHAT??? APAAAAAAAAAAAA???

Saya dari dulu kamu anggurin, ternyata...

Arrrrggggghhhhhh....

Jadi cape... sepagian horni langsung DOWN!!! anjrit!!! separah itukah dia menginfeksi saya...

Shud I say, Goodbye?... Am too tired of this waiting!!!
Yah... what shud I say?
Dia tau, kalo dia cakep...pinter... no problem for looking and getting anyone he wants!

Yah...sudahlah... mungkin saya terlalu berharap!

Turns My Switch On vs Off (part1)

This is my things...
As a "superficial" kind of person... there so many things in men (in women...I dont really care!! heheh ) that get my attention...
Physically... or more... there are things that can turn my switch on or off...

Here are some of them...

1. HAIR
Saya tahu, belakangan mode rambut laki ga kalah ribet ama cewek.
Seingat saya, sejak F4 dengan "Meteor Garden"nya itu (yang sempat dijiplak sinetron Indo!!!) meledak di Indo, gaya rambut laki di Indo makin aneh2.
Saya emang orang simple. Ogahhh banget yang namanya something ribeud-ribeud!!!

Turns me ON.

Short, simple, and extra manly haircut.
Almost bald is super okay (this is my style for almost 4 years!)
Some hairstyling gel is acceptable.

(heheh...ga musti kaya pic di atas sih.... those are just my dreams!!!)

Turns Me OFF
* F4wannabe!!!

Dunno why, somehow this is one of my reason not to watch sinetron, or be a fan of those "Brondong" superstar!
Sekarang kalo ke jalan2 Mall (terutama "salah satu" Mall di Sby... no racist mean!!!) waduuuhhh...berseliweran... ga semua "mockable" sih... but most of them are!!! .... *superficial jerk kuadrat mode on!*

*"Rindu" n *King*-Band hairstyle (You know whom I mean!)

Saya bener2 ga abis pikir, with their bunch of money, they shud hire a better hairstylish!
But then again, this is my opinion... Rambut-gondrong-tanggung-guntingan-asal-ampir-nutupin mata-warna-warni-ga-jelas sooo turns me off. Apalagi mengingat, mereka pasti menghabiskan waktu lebih lama di depan kaca untuk "menata" model rambut itu (jadi keingetan, I saw a men in a mall toilet once, doin his hair done, dari pertama saya masuk-antri pipis-doing my "business"-cuci tangan 2x-kepet2-blow-drying my hands, dia masihhhhh sibuk ngatur2 poni dan rancung2 ga jelas itu...aduuuhhhh...capeeeeee!!! I didn't even notice how his face looked like!!! <---apa emang "tujuan"nya gitu? No Offense!!!)

2. EYES
Window to your heart. Hmmm...
Turns me ON

Nothing special, but men with glasses definitely make them look better!!! (in my eyes!)
Sumhow, they make a man looks smarter (the point is "brain" turns me so On, dear!)

Turns me OFF

Color contact lens... whaaattt??? C'mon, dude... menurut saya, waktu laki pake lensa kontak yang berwarna-warni itu (pernah lihat iklan kontak lens warna-warni itu modelnya laki? saya belom pernah!!!!), are they trying to match their ayes with their clothes??? Are you kidding me?
Color contact lens feminize them, and sissy things....just make me wanna say "I'm sorry, GudBye"!!!- while I'm running away....
What I've written above... just few things that suddenly appear in my brain....
There are still quite a lot more that I wanna write, but later...

maaf, buat yang ngerasa... tersinggung...kalo ada! This is just my stupid thought!!!!

To be continued....

Si Manusia Bodoh

I'm lost.... all the time!

Semalam, tak hujan...
Kucuri awan, kugantung di pelupuk mata... lalu gerimis...

Sumpah, saya teh kadang suka gini... bingung harus gimana...
Tadi, babeh sms,...
Bilang, kalo di sidoarjo susah berkembang, balik kampung aja...

Tapi, somehow, saya ingin berdiri sendiri...
Durhaka kah saya???

I dun know how...

To frecher... don't you wanna meet me?
I wish we cud meet, even once...
And talk about life...
Before I go...
Somehow... I miss you...

Cong in Action!!!

Sore2, balik dari Internet...
Niat awal, pengin melampiaskan "sesuatu"...heheh...
Yagh, tapi di cetingan ketemunya dia-dia lagi... (no offense!!!).

Balik kost udah ampir magrib, daripada ntar bolak-nalik, mampir beli makan...dibungkus... minta tambah sambelnya! (emak2 banget siy!)
Sambil nunggu orderan (hayah, order!!!), suddenly, mbak Front Office telpon, ngajakin karaoke-an...
Weks....
Karaoke???

Dulu, waktu di solo, pernah saya diajakin karaoke-an ama seorang "kenalan" (pramugara haji yang Party goer abeesss...), doyan karaoke juga (maksudnya beneran karaoke... bukan "karaoke" .... )
Katanya kalo di karoke...orang sambil mabok2an juga... hmmm... gitu yah!!!
Dasar kampring bin katro, saya jadi ga minat diajak karokean... (bukannya sok alim... tapi di pikiran saya, takut ga bisa nolak minum... KATRO!!!)

Nah... kemaren, karena diojok-2in...sambil diancem bakal didiemin orang2 setempat kerja! yagh...mau aja (dibayarin ini!!! *oportunis mode on*)

Selasa siang yang panas (hmmm...udah mulai kemarau lagi niy!)
berangkat berlima ke t4 karaoke yang bertitel "tempat karoke keluarga" itu...
Boncengin Dnr (waduh,...!!!)

Lagu pertama diputer... Ayat2 Cinta-nya Rossa...
lah kok pada ga mau nyanyi... yasud, Mic gue sambar...

Bakekok!!! Cong mulai menyanyi....kakakaka...
Sempet rada tengsin...
lama kelamaan, malah ketagihan!!!
Hahah... total jendral, dari 2 jam karokean, perasaan..., kok kebanyakan saya yang nyanyi yah??? hahahahah....

Pilihan lagu saya pun super dahsyat!!!
Michael Buble.... Lost and Everything were must sing songs!!!
Il Divo... Everytime I Look at You.... (Il Divo wannabe banget!!! heheh...)
dan beberapa lagu baru Indo,
Gak lupa, Kuch2 Hota Hai...hahahah... sinting... Dnr ga tahan, saya baru nyanyi beberapa bait, udah di skip!!! Padahal, Funky bleh!!!
Kelly Clarkson, Josh groban, Tompi....
(for those who have Gaydar... must be curious with my songs choice... fortunately, they were blind!!! hahah... hajar bleh!!!!)

Baliknya, nganterin Dnr ke kostnya (waduh!!!...lagi!!!)

Wah, satu banci karoke telah lahir niy!!! kakakakak....