Not The ONE

I had once written this quote-line from Heartbreak Club...
"It's not easy to be gay and average,... but somehow... we're the strongest"

Meski ga selalu bener, mostly,... gays do judge!!!
I think it's kinda familiar...
Chat (or...now, twitt), flirt... meet...

Di jaman sekarang, dimana hampir ga ada foto yang bebas photoshop... heheh...
Ga jarang kan, waktu ketemu... ow, ternyata... eh... ternyata ga se-oke yang disangka,... ga semulus di pic-nya... atau... ga se-slim di profile-avatarnya... #jleb-dalem-banget
Tiap orang pasti punya sosok ideal yang menjadi "standar" dalam memilih pasangan... baik untuk suatu hubungan dengan komitmen, atau bahkan "hanya" untuk "cinta satu malam".
Rite?

Okay, langsung to the point,....
Jadi ni ceritanya saya sedang ada urusan, berangkat ke Ibukota Propinsi... dengan satu misi, berusaha menapaki cita-cita...
Sekalian, refreshing, setelah cukup "gedabikan" waktu jaman-jaman Lebaran kemaren...
I really need holiday...

Awalnya sih ga terlalu niat buat cari sabetan... #uhuk-uhuk #keselekrambutSadako
Tapi, iseng-iseng buka account situs "pertemanan" satu itu...
Dapet pesen, singkat kata... tawaran..."mau ketemuan?"

Berhubung kudu ngerjain urusan pribadi dulu...
Sore baru kepikiran...
Akhirnya, setelah ditimbang-timbang... why not... kalopun ga cocok, nothing to lose lah...

So we met,...
We talked a little...
Meski rada awkward... in the middle of the chat...
He got phone... maybe from his Boss, then, he just left... dengan sedikit basa-basi...

It's not the first time for me to be rejected...
And, ... I felt kinda numb anyhow... toh ga kenal2 amat juga... kesempatan besok-besok buat ketemu lagi, hampir ga mungkin juga... so... santai aja!!!
Tapi, yang bikin "rada hayang teu boga beungeut"... ternyata di tempat itu, ada seorang twitter-fella yang gag terlalu kenal, tapi... dia sempet ngeDM "sedang ngopi2 ya?"...
And he obviously saw how I was being left...

Not a big deal siy...
Tapi yagh... somehow, I felt kinda ashamed...

Actually, ga tau juga siy, siapa yang tadi nelpon... apa bener2 Bosnya...
Tapi, kalo dia ngerasa ga enak ninggalin saya, at least... there should be some "appologize"... or did I demand too much and took it way too serious?

Jadi, lepas dari kejadian pribadi saya...
When you met someone, that apparently, different from ur expectation... not in a good way, of course...
There should be some more decent way to do, shouldn't there?

Atau, some people just did it as worst as possible, so they made their statement as clear is it could!
That, he's just not that into me...

Hmmm... interesting...

Yagh... udah lama ga ketemuan sama orang, sekalinya ketemuan... didepak gitu ajah! Kasian yah... hihihi... *lebay*
Tapi, gapapa lah...
Things not always happened like what I want...
But somehow, lesson is learned...

That,... he obviously not the One...

Ngomong-ngomong tentang the One... rada gag nyambung, tapi mumpung inget...
Pernah mimpi... sosok satu ini, hanya berjarak satu dekapan, saya melihat sosoknya dari belakang... broad shoulder in white long-sleeve shirt... short-spiky hair-style...
Tapi, one thing that still become a mistery... is I didn't see his face...
Abis, keburu bangun... *sigh*

Am I so desperate, sampe-sampe alam bawah sadar saya menciptakan image seseorang... "my Better Half"...?
Atau, di luar sana... dia sedang bekerja menciptakan jembatan kemungkinan... hingga akhirnya dia menemukan saya... dan saya mendapatkannya??
Aghhh...
Mungkin saya gag mau menyerah... dan terus bermimpi... semoga, suatu saat... benar-benar ada dia...

Hanya untuk sekedar bilang... "Kamulah alasan saya untuk tetap bertahan".



PS: Someday... maybe Someday...
#nowplaying "I Know Him By Heart-Vonda Shepard"