J
ika aku bukan jalanmu... ku berhenti mengharapkanmu...
My playlist even told me to move on...
dan mungkin memang harus mulai belajar melupakannya... seperti yang sudah-sudah...
Kangen... (ga pake band)... sumpah, suka rada sedikit gila...
Gara-gara terlanjur hapal nomer plat mobilnya...
Tanpa sadar dalam perjalanan ke RS... atau pergi-balik ke Gym... suka merhatiin mobil yang lalu-lalang...
Tiap ketemu "jenis" mobil yang sama... otomatis melototin plat - nya... sedikit lega... tapi juga nyesek, kalo bukan dia... (kasihan ya...)
Satu kebodohan yang saya lakukan...
Pindahin semua kontak "PLU" ke BBM android... sempet broadcast... "please kindly add my new BBM pin: 12345678" ... dia bahkan masih "peduli" nanyain... "pin yang aktif yang mana?".
Dan... mungkin sebelum sempat temen-temen "PLU" baca tuh BM... gobloknya saya, men-del-cont - dengan mencentang "ignore future invitation"... *jedotin kepala*
Hilang sudah... (maaf buat temen2 yang pernah BBM-an, dan ujug2 hilang dari friend-list-nya... sumpah ga sengaja)
Profil-nya pun menghilang dari setiap soc-med-yang dulu membuat saya mengenalnya... ketika dia akhirnya memutuskan untuk mengajak bertemu dan makan malam bersama- (yang membuat saya ga bisa kepo- ngintipin profil-nya sebelum tidur atau waktu bangun pagi atau di sela-sela senggang waktu periksa pasien di poli... *pathetic anjir*)
I assumed, berarti dia memang serius dengan pilihan hati-nya....
Seseorang yang rela meninggalkan pacar lama-nya demi bersama dia...
Sedikit ingin protes,...
What made him so sure that he would never do the same to him...
What made him so special in his heart?
Was he richer... More muscular... Or even better in bed?
Bentar,... nyanyi dulu ah...
"I'm not an actor... I'm not a star...
and I dont even have my own car..." -leweh sakeudeung-
Tapi, hati memang ga bisa dipaksa...
I'm sure that he's just not that into me...
All those goodbye kisses...
Apparently, those were the things that didn't mean anything to him as deep as it did to me... (grammar check please!)
-deep sigh-
Penginnya sih, tumbuhin rasa benci...
Supaya cepet lupa... supaya ga usah sering-sering mikir, dia sedang apa... inget apa nggak...
Penginnya sih ngomong...
"How could you, get into my life... made me care of you...
I even hoped that maybe all this waiting would end... by you...
And suddenly... I should just erase all of you from my head... my life... my heart...
What am I supposed to do?"
But, maybe he would just don't care...
Just as easy as that...
Since my existence didn't mean anything for him...
Sekarang...
Udah 2 minggu-an, ga bisa ngelihat update status BBM-nya lagi...
Ga bisa lihat profil-picnya lagi (yang kadang nampang berdua... selfie monyong-monyongan)...
Yah, sudahlah...
Udah tua gini,...
BTW, few days ago... saya ulang tahun...
Tanpa perayaan... hanya bisa tidur sedikit lebih panjang... (tanggal merah-nya lumayan cihuy ya...)
Sahabat saya pernah bertanya sama saya, beberapa hari sebelum harinya...
" Mas, what is your birthday wishes???"
Of course to tell her that this year birthday wishes was "maybe God would give him a glimpse of a little thought that it was his loss for not choosing me" - was impossible...
Instead, I told her "I only wish for a peaceful mind".
But then again... I think that was what I really need for now...
Sekali lagi, belajar melupakan...
PS: Maaf, posting yang tidak bermutu... blame it on him aja ya... :')
